Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe
filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself
when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair.
No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my
butt with a snow cone.
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance
on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally
threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment.
**I should take note that I am worried about Judge #
3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is
cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth,
pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've
lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it
is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with
chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My
pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least
during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me.
I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful.
Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I
need air, I'll just suck it in through the
4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice
blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to
declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced
chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most
of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out,
fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of
himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor
feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot
chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:31 am
Tom Cobb
Site Admin
Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 563
Location: Hurst, TX
I have seen this a couple of times over the years and I LMAO everytime. Yankees just can't handle Texas chilli. I have never figured out what they chili up north really is...it sure ain't chilli like I am know.
Good one LBZ
_________________ Former owner/operator of Big T Transport Services - transporting horse and stock trailers, RV's, boats, car haulers, utility trailers, and anything else that can be towed by a 3500 dually.
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:31 am
LBZ
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Posts: 158
Location: Loami, Illinois
Yeah chili up here, or even BBQ for that matter is nothing like it is in TX. I like things warmer or in the midrange and found out in TX that is closer to mild. Go figure.
I remember being in Junction TX last year and all the smoke houses and BBQ places were great. Up here everything is a franchise with no real signature.
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:11 am
Tom Cobb
Site Admin
Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 563
Location: Hurst, TX
You are so right.
_________________ Former owner/operator of Big T Transport Services - transporting horse and stock trailers, RV's, boats, car haulers, utility trailers, and anything else that can be towed by a 3500 dually.
"GIT Rrr DONE"
Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:24 am
TGPILOT
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 155
A lot of the food out out today is made for the tourist....fairly mild. You have to know where to go to get the good food, ar at least ask for it.
Tom
Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:33 am
bth9461
Joined: 15 Aug 2007
Posts: 342
Location: Pinconning, Mi
I grew up in a neighborhood that was say 25% Mexican, man could some of my freinds mom's cook. My parents liked this little Mexican restuarant, and my mom made some Mexican food also. Any way I always like these little mom/pop Taco joints that had real hot sauce.
When I was about 17 I took my buddy to one of these joints, he had only had Taco Bell, and loved to put a couple of hot sauce packetts on his taco. He thought it was real cool.
I just smiled as he spooned on the hot sauce at the little Taco joint. He started looking like judge number 3 soon. Too proud to say anything. I just smiled and enjoyed my meal. With freinds like me who needs enemies.
Brian
Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:03 am
Tom Cobb
Site Admin
Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 563
Location: Hurst, TX
It is always fun to do that and sit back and watch. LOL
_________________ Former owner/operator of Big T Transport Services - transporting horse and stock trailers, RV's, boats, car haulers, utility trailers, and anything else that can be towed by a 3500 dually.
"GIT Rrr DONE"
Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:20 am
flying wedge
Joined: 22 Jan 2008
Posts: 6
yeah my first time with texas chili was ok going down, later in the commode I think I left my finger nails embedded in the toilet seat !!! Ever seen a dog with an itchy butt draggin himself around with his front paws while his rear end is on the ground? I was thinkin those cold tiles on the floor were lookin mighty good at that moment! I can guarantee you there are no intestinal parasites living in Texas!
Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:28 am
Tom Cobb
Site Admin
Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 563
Location: Hurst, TX
That's funny flying wedge.
I heard somebody say they asked for some Pace Picante Sauce in a restaraunt up north and was told "they can't eat that up here, it's too hot".
That stuff is like ketchup down here.
_________________ Former owner/operator of Big T Transport Services - transporting horse and stock trailers, RV's, boats, car haulers, utility trailers, and anything else that can be towed by a 3500 dually.
"GIT Rrr DONE"
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Ever seen a dog with an itchy butt draggin himself around with his front paws while his rear end is on the ground? I was thinkin those cold tiles on the floor were lookin mighty good at that moment! I can guarantee you there are no intestinal parasites living in Texas!
